“The TENS” Polling Desk, Omaha, Nebraska
Truth Essential recently polled over 10,000 avowed douchebags across America on whether they believed former President Trump is a douchebag.
A majority number of the polled douchebags – 67% – stated they believed Trump to be, in fact, one of their own, a douchebag. Candyass came in second with 17% and Weak Fag third with 8%. Complete results of the polling are as follows:
- Trump is a Douchebag – 67%
- Trump is a Candyass – 17%
- Trump is a Pathetic Loser – 12%
- Other – includes “Putin’s AssBoi,” “Weird Fag,” and “Demented Assclown.”
Of interest is that polling results among other groups, namely Candyasses and Pathetic Losers, were very similar in lean of identification as was the primary study group of Douchebags. The polling of 10,000 Candyasses showed a clear affiliation with Trump as one of their own – 65% – and the same was found with the 10,000 Pathetic Losers polled.
Of peripheral interest to the top-notch polling professionals at Truth Essential were the results among those who identified as Putin Assbois, who while overwhelmingly identifying Trump as one of their own, added in unsolicited information, a.) a newfound fascination with Arnold Palmer and b.) a fear of disappointment if candlelight showering with Elon Musk and JD Vance.
Leading polling science experts have long agreed that Truth Essential Polling is considered to be the most highly rated and strongest of polls. We here at Truth Essential concur with that assessment.